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Furious college coach injures fan for making fun of his ‘small pants’


Northern Colorado assistant Max McCaffrey is in hot water after he broke his clipboard, threw it into the stands, and accidentally hit an opposing fan. Normally that could be chalked up to a simple “angry coach moment,” but this might be the first time in football history a coach blew his top after someone made fun of his pants.

The opposing fan, a high school student who was heckling McCaffrey, told the Greeley Tribune about what precipitated the clipboard toss.

“I said, ‘Hey coach, maybe you should focus on how small your pants are, rather than breaking a clipboard,” the senior told the Tribune in a text message.

McCaffrey, who yes, is the older brother of Carolina Panthers running back Christian McCaffrey was incensed when his younger brother, and Northern Colorado quarterback Dylan McCaffrey threw an interception. It seems the pants comment was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Let’s bundle all that together and it’s hilarious, but I’m dying to know what’s going on with these pants. Perhaps the fan misspoke and he meant “tight,” but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he meant small.

What are “small pants”? I had to know. Google searches turned up plenty of photos of the elder McCaffrey brother, but he’s almost exclusively wearing athletic shorts, not pants at all. Did this teen think shorts were small pants? Was the coach wearing overly tight shorts? Is this a third possibility all together, like some athletic capris or even flood pants?

Obviously whatever these pants are, McCaffrey has an attachment to them. Nobody gets upset when someone makes fun of clothes unless it’s an article they really like. I’m led to believe there’s something special about these pants, something cherished. So when a teen makes fun of these “small pants” the coach lost it, because it’s like making fun of a child to him.

This sent me on a quest to discover what the “small pants” were. Obviously it’s an article of clothing, it could be anything — but we had some clues to go off.

  • McCaffrey always wears athletic shorts.
  • Every photo of him shows a penchant for black shorts.
  • There would need to be something unique about these pants to warrant anger.

Finally, after searching for “small pants” at several retailers, I found these from Amazon, which fit the bill.

The “FASKUNOIE Men’s Cotton Casual Shorts 3/4 Jogger Capri Pants Breathable Below Knee Short Pants with Three Pockets” fit every category here. They’re joggers that would appear from stands like they’re just really small pants. They fit McCaffrey’s pants wheelhouse with a twist, meaning I could see him having pride in these pants because they are more unique than the other pants in his wardrobe.

Time will tell. We all just want to see the pants.

h/t To the brilliant Matt Brown, who sent me down this rabbit hole.





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