No this is not Joe Goldberg, although I kind of… sound like him right now.. but this isn’t about him, I’m talking to you.
I know that we’re entering a time of year that can be really hard for a lot of us. Holidays don’t always mean presents and dinners and family visits for us all. End of year exams hit hard. The change in seasons can be a detriment. Old memories resurfacing. There’s just a lot. You deserve so much more than anything weighing on your shoulders, and I want to remind you that you are so wonderful.
You are radiant. You are ethereal. You are a miracle.
I think you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not in any way, shape, or form. Your existence is a masterpiece.
The way you light up when you do something you love.
The way you laugh, just willing the world to smile with you.
The way you cry, your willingness to let your emotions escape in droves.
The way you get up in the morning despite knowing the day ahead might be hard.
Or the way you don’t, and you allow yourself to rest, how your grace extends even to yourself.
I don’t think you understand how much of an astounding invention you are. Sometimes I wonder, can a person really be this amazing?
Seeing you makes me smile, there is something about you that just changes the atmosphere of the whole room.
You can be so many things:
The delicate bloom of a flower in spring.
The violent beauty of a star being born.
The changing fall leaves awe inspiring in every color and form.
The cool wind on a hot day.
The refreshing first drop of summer rain.
The rainbow basking in the blue sky after a star.
Just by existing you are all of these things and more.
I hate that you don’t always see that. You can’t always the span of your own artistry. But then again, I’m not sure all of it could fit in a mirror. It’d probably have to be like one of those big dance mirrors. Or a fun house mirror but it’s not distorted and it’s all stretched out- ok, off topic. You’re all these lovely things you don’t always see in yourself. You’re the type of person people write songs about.
You’re someone who people are enchanted to meet.
Someone people are a wreck without.
Someone people wait a hundred years, and would wait a million more, to meet.
Someone who smiles and the whole world stops and stares for awhile.
I should probably stop too, before this gets too cheesy. I mean it already is, but can I help that you deserve that? I mean you work so hard. You put up with so much B.S. You hold in so much. You constantly feel like something is amiss. You deserve a little cheesiness, the release that comes with informality and slightly embarrassed smiles. You deserve a moment to stop and read a cheesy letter written by a girl you probably don’t even know and let yourself cringe while she quotes song lyrics about you. You can roll your eyes and smile to yourself, thinking it’s ridiculous, have that moment of joy. Meanwhile, I know it’s all a bit romcom-y but deeply true.
Even when you don’t feel it.
Even when you’re not trying to.
Even when you think you’re not doing enough to ‘be amazing’.
Even when you think no one sees the work you’re doing.
Even when you feel like the whole world is watching you fall apart.
Even when you feel unloveable.
No matter what
When you are being utterly and truly yourself, you are beautiful. An incomprehensible amount of beauty. The beauty they try to capture in paintings and pictures of galaxies. The kind of beauty captured in a sunset, the beauty that makes the planets grateful to be in the grand star’s orbit. The kind of beauty that comes silently in the midst of a tall forest, without trying to or forcing itself in, whistling in on the edge of the breeze.
Look, I’m not asking or expecting you to finish reading this letter and suddenly see all of these things in yourself, I know it’s harder than that. I don’t need you to finally feel like you completely see yourself all of a sudden, though that would be nice, wouldn’t it? This is just your reminder, your daily affirmation, of how simply incredible you are. A reminder that even in the hard times there is light within you. I hope every day you take a step closer to feeling all the goodness you deserve to feel.
(and with love)